It is not necessary that this happens only for in life partner relationships, but this is possible even between friends, brother or sisters. He demands proper explanation about the people you are meeting and what for. Absolutely no spam allowed. A little possessiveness is normal in every relationship. Though possessiveness is there in each of us but it would be better to realize it by a cool mind and take the self-correction steps to overcome it. Disrespect is often a sign of a possessive relationship. Whether it’s a fear from a past relationship, or even something that happened in childhood, you need to figure out what is causing you to feel and act this way. Attachment is just the superficial emotion that gives the wrong idea of love. Had she not worried about the smell of the incense reaching up to every statue, she wouldn’t have made her statue look ugly by her hands. Sometimes, it so happens that without your knowledge you repeat your mistakes and by the time you realize those things go out of your control. You should try to live a complete life by concentrating on other things which does not revolve around between you and your partner. She continued doing this for some days and one day she realized that the nose of her statue has turned black making it look ugly. She may try to exert her control on you as if she is someone superior to you. Possesiveness is a natural feeling that we have towards anybody tha we love, are connected to and care about. What is more important is that you still love him/her. This happened because of the over possessiveness of that nun. Possessiveness is closely linked to jealousy, which is in charge of destroying relationships, but is also a slowly self-destructive feeling. Possessiveness reflects lack of love, it reflects our desires, you emotions, your needs and there is no other person involved. Males essentially need to be possessive since it provides better opportunities for the growth of their DNA and does not leave their female wandering in search of other males. She wants you to agree to her point of view irrespective of the fact whether you like it or not. Is there any medical remedy for it? I am so possessive about some friends, husband. In the end, we are all alone. She may not welcome the idea if you invite your parents to your place and demands that instead you should pay a visit to them and let her live at her own peace. But the same rule is not be applicable in her case as she would like to deposit and save her money in banks. Therefore one cannot free him from the duties and responsibilities for which he is here to observe detachment. An even dangerous emotion about it is that it gives birth to several secondary emotions such as fear, jealousy, anger and many more. Like is two piece of cloth can work then why to look several colorful cloths. However possessiveness cannot be taken to be bad all times. This practice cannot be brought into your life in day it requires great practice and sacrifice on the part of subject. Being the most popular educational website in India, we believe in providing quality content to our readers. For the sake of your love you can trust on your partner and be relaxed.If you have true love for your partner, you should avoid yourself from doing things which may make you fall low in your partner's eye. You may not realize it very soon since you may be so much deeply involved with her love but believe me you will realize it at some point of time. The observance of detachment does not give the idea to free our possessions. Of great help! So she placed a funnel in front of her statue such that the smell shall pass from it and reach up to the nose of her statue only. Change is in the nature of life and we have to accept this fact. It’s no surprise studies have shown that jealousy and surveillance behaviors we often associate with possessiveness lead to relationship dissatisfaction and destructive behavior. For instance, the very fear of losing someone special from one's life makes him/her possessive by nature. To an extent this comes under the tag of OK because maybe he is doing so because of the amount of love he has for you. These are the important ingredients of your happiness. Are your relationships ruined by your possessiveness and jealousy? I mean you would not want it to where you could not go out or talk to friends of the opposite sex. Never leave the way you used to live before your relationship. Love does not demand satisfaction it only understands surrender. Possessive relationships vary with the severity of the possessiveness. Things may become worse if a female colleague happens to give you a call for some important matter to discuss. They wish for more and more attention and concern and this tops them from sharing that person with anyone else. Possessiveness indicates a manic state of mind in which a person cannot accept to share the things or person about which/ whom he is obsessed. She settled in a temple if that village. But no, she would be having her own explanations that her money is meant to be saved and it is only the you who needs to handle all the expenses. Desire: Desire also leads to possessiveness and humans by nature have this element in them from the birth. Some things are private and no one should have the right to break that corridor of privacy. But how can you differentiate between healthy and unhealthy jealousy in a relationship? She wants you to agree to her point of view irrespective of the fact whether you like it or not. 8. Nobody in this world is a personal property. Required fields are marked *. Nor have I! But here trust and love are inversely related because it is not necessary if a person loves the other he/she also trusts him/her. He may advise you harshly to be away with them since because he does not like them. Jealousy and possessiveness are often considered the same thing. No HTML formatting and links to other web sites are allowed. Speak to yourself and say that you trust your partner and have full faith on him/her. The one, who is a karma yogi, works to serve people. The subject of having a possessive or controlling relationship partner may feel worlds away from the sweet sentiment behind asking someone to be your Valentine. Try taking some soil in your hand and make a grip over it. Consult our astrology experts and psychics. That temple had several statues of Buddha. They don’t respect your personal boundaries. Fantasy Bond, Relationship Problems, Relationships By Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. How to Create a More Equal and Trusting Relationship. Lack of trust is one among them. It's a great article! or     Making use of materialistic things does cause obsession for them but their attachment does. Even in a relationship, everyone expects some amount of freedom. A possessive person is like a green-eyed monster, and it can lead to dangerous behavior in those who lack enough self-control to avoid violence toward someone they see as a romantic rival. No one can take control over the life and desires of anyone and if you try to do so, you are spoiling your relationships with your hands. This adds fuel to the fire. Desires have no endings and the more one desires the more one becomes possessive. He may want you to do so only when he feels well about it or perhaps he wants you to take his permission before you do so.If you are out for some time somewhere he wants to know where you were and demands an explanation for the same.Signs of possessiveness in womenToday, women are not far lagging behind men when it comes about discussing such a critical issue as possessiveness. But the first step towards it is to free our soul; free it from the worldly attachments, from the evils of society. 2007-06-15 20:59:00. a lack of trust and jealousy. The green-eyed monster, as Shakespeare called it, can camp in your head at any time during a relationship: when you are madly in love, when you are snugly attached, even when you dislike your partner. 11 12 13. By doing so, he learns the art of sacrifice which leads to detachment. But you would not get instant benefit from it. Lack of trust in a relationship causes severe problems in the relationship. Top Answer . He demands proper explanation about the people you are meeting and what for. They are afraid that anyone could destroy their belonging or harm it. Many a time people confuse possessiveness with jealousy. So we should always remain in our senses and should get carried away. Some studies show that a marriage where one or both parties have some jealous nature about them f… Simple things like checking one's mail, messages and phone contacts should be avoided. It is enough to rust any human relationship on earth but sometimes you forget the simple fact that only material things could only be possessed not humans. This happens with many of us because we falsely interpret our attachment to be love. Do you provide individual counseling? Write detailed comment, relevant to the topic. Every possessive relationship starts off like a fairy tale, where you have met someone who cares deeply about you so you’re not ready to look for signs that something is wrong, because it just feels … I really need help, Your email address will not be published. It is good to have possessions but it is bad to have attachments to them. This is a strictly moderated site. Anyone who challenges your feelings towards me, or wants much of your time and energy, is a threat. Things may not end here as she would like to check you mobile, messages and even mails. 20 09. As a person with numerous years in the field of self-improvement, I've finally come to learn that the easiest and quickest way to release possessiveness and other problems is through the one and only true God. Past experiences play a very vital role in giving rise to possessiveness especially the incidents of childhood since they leave deep marks on the mind and heart of the person. But then if he does these beyond a certain point then surely he is showing signs of possessiveness.He wants you to wear what he likes rather than what you like. The hand full of dirt analogy was incredible. This is welcome but each of the partners are equally responsible for family expenses. All in all fear lies at the root cause of possessiveness. The moment the level of possessiveness goes beyond the normal level it takes serious turns and sometimes even breaks the relationship. You have every right to love others around you irrespective of the fact whether one is your friend, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend etc. It is not essential that if we like someone we also trust that person. They sabotage. This means getting upset when you text or hang out with people they feel threatened by, wrongly accusing you of flirting or cheating, or even going so far as to stalk you. He may not even lag behind from showing up his anger or distastefulness to your style and may even force you what you should wear when you are either moving out to attend parties or with your friends. It is a symptom of the weak inner strength of that person. At times we like a person but we don’t trust him therefore we start behaving possessively since we are afraid of losing that person. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship stands. This does not imply that possession of any kind will cause discontentment of some kind but the attachment to that possession will cause it. Try to concentrate on the other important affairs of life or occupy yourself with some positive hobby so that you can devote some quality time on yourself which is going to serve your purpose very well. Although no one in this world is free from the clutches of possession since everybody is in possession of something in his life. Human beings are possessive by nature but when this. This article covers information about what is possessiveness, what are the causes of possessiveness, what are the signs of possessiveness and some important tips to overcome these easily. But when these elements cross certain margin and reaches the proximity things could get worse. She may not take it lightly when you speak with other girls. ©, To maintain any healthy relationship on earth a certain degree of involvement, love, caress, and responsibility is enough. People who are in relationships need to give their partners some amount of space so that within that space the other partner grooms and matures. He involves too much in your social life. It is the possessiveness that looks for satisfaction, indulgence, and to exploit others for your contentment. In some cases, the possessive individual’s goal is to make you feel worthless and incapable of finding another relationship by damaging your self-esteem. Great article. Giving away your possessions does lead to this goal, instead it requires giving away of attachment and conquering the biggest enemy in this way that is, desire. But when these elements cross certain margin and reaches the proximity things could get worse. If you love someone, you would fall into him. If not controlled at right time it keeps on growing with that person. But the moment you try to exercise your right or ownership on them then the whole problems start. "If the couple will go for help, and the possessiveness comes only from desire for assurance of connectedness," Shaler says, "this can be resolved as the couple works together." Possessiveness can be a great motivator. Create an account. Love is not insane to keep a person bound to the whims and moods of anyone. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is possessive or controlling, it can cause a lot of problems in your relationship…. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. When it comes to possessiveness, a little bit of it is acceptable and will be good in any relationship. It adds an element of spice to the relationship and shows that your partner really cares about you. Possessiveness also attacks when one thinks too deeply over trifle matters. However, there is a slight difference: Jealousy is a feeling and possessiveness is a behavior. People suffering from jealousy actually somewhere suffer from inferiority complex. Possessiveness is a common relationship problem among young and older adults and being a possessive partner is something people in relationships should avoid. And if we think that we can make that person ours be keeping him with us then we are meddling with the nature. You need to realize your limit and do a proper analysis of your behavior to find out if you are getting too much possessive by nature. Possessiveness arises from insecurities, and numerous other shades of gray. The problem arises when one of the partners starts to feel insecure and ends up trying to control the other. If you feel that your appearance isn’t as good as another coworker, then you may buy new clothes and feel encouraged to do more. See Answer. Stating clearly, you are jealous when you wish you take place of other person while you are possessive if you wish to take control over the life and desires of other person. But no, she would be having her own explanations that her money is meant to be saved and it is only the you who needs to handle all the expenses. All rights reserved. Human beings are possessive by nature but when this possessiveness gets out of control things get beyond repair. This feeling is important from the point of view of satisying our need to belong and to protect. Possessive by nature but when these elements cross certain margin and reaches the things... No one can ever be freed from the birth ours be keeping him us! 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